Is this thing still on?

So I haven’t been writing as much as I had wanted to, despite my plan to redouble my efforts. Although I have confirmed that whenever I *plan* to do something, I’m definitely *not* going to get it done.

Not much has happened recently. I’ve been studying hard but still not making the 40h (not to mention 56h) goal, and not making the 80-85% goal for qbanks either (currently 70-75%). However, I am moving through the qbanks nicely (75% done with kaplan, 60% done with world) and I think I can be done with both by the end of the month. I’m pretty far behind on anki (I’ve got a queue of 2900 / 4100 cards …) thanks to taking about a week off, and I’m trying to make some inroads there. I took a diagnostic under test conditions and scored a 207 (okay, really a 440). Considering I’m about 2/3 done with the review material, I’m on track to be in the 220’s before starting my major 6 week push in May. I’m hoping that I can redouble my efforts and get from there to the 240’s, although making it to the 260’s seems unrealistic. I’ll take another diagnostic in early May after finishing the qbanks and my entire review. I still have cardio, pulm, renal, micro and pharm to cover and only 2 weeks to do it in, so I’m definitely going to need to buckle down. I think I can recap cardio and pulm in a week each, while staying up on pharm, and I’ve been going over micro system by system. So it’s possible. It’s just gonna be tough.

I’ve also been thinking about what I want to do during my last 6 weeks.I’ll have about 300 hours of study time.

I definitely want to go through:

-all of Kaplan multidisciplinary/general principles questions (500 questions, 10 hours)

-all of UW again (2000 questions, 40 hours)

-all of First AID, twice. (500 pgs @ 10 pgs/hr = 50 hours, again @20 pgs/hr = 25 hours)

-all of Goljan Lecture notes (250 pgs @ 10 pgs/hr = 25 hours)

-get current on Anki (1.5h/day=60h, however many cards that may be)

-3 diagnostics (15h) – approximately on 5/1, 5/15 and 5/30. Aiming for 220, 235 and 250.

-this leaves about 75 hours of unclaimed time. I’ll use this time for extra studying in other areas such as biochem, anatomy, hitting specific subjects extra hard. It only gives me an hour a day of discretionary time, and I hope it’ll be enough.

Honestly, at this point the thought of getting to 260 seems pretty insurmountable. I’m significantly farther behind than I was in studying for the MCAT (currently ~40th %ile vs. MCAT where I started at 50th %ile after minimal studying). Plus, the last two months have literally flown by in a daze. I definitely feel like I know some of the material better, but I have huge gaps in my knowledge that I don’t know if I’ve even identified, much less been able to overcome. I’ve also realized how daunting a 260 on the exam really is. It’s an entirely different beast from the MCAT and requires a lot of knowledge, really a LOT of knowledge. The demons of self doubt are definitely banging on the door in a way that I have not felt before in any intellectual endeavor. It’s pretty scary.

Oh well, no other way to go but through, so onwards. Upwards, hopefully. And more blogging … somehow.

Tomorrow we are leaving on a workcation that may be ill advised or may be just what the doctor rx’d. Hopefully the later.

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