Tired, at the end of a long day

[youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWfbGGZE07M%5D

Some days you get it just about right. Today was one of those days. Maybe it’s just the increased daylight, or the fact that our dogs didn’t try to maim any toddlers today, but in the words of O’Shea Jackson, “Today Was a Good Day.”

I realized this feeling from when I was studying for the MCAT: I am going to get happier and happier as I get closer to test day. At first, this didn’t make any sense to me. My stress should be increasing, not decreasing. I have less time available, and some things will have to fall by the wayside. Some subjects wont get as full of a review as they deserve.

But for me, what always made studying hard was when there was nothing, seemingly, on the line. It has always been hard for me to summon up the focus to really grind and memorize huge swaths of information that I am not even remotely interested in. And, to make matters worse, the information doesn’t usually become interesting until AFTER you learn enough to really understand it. Until then, it’s just a jumble of unrelated facts.

Now, both of those situations have changed. Things are starting to come together in my mind and the challenge is keeping them together. There are so many pathways, loops and cycles, each with its own idiosyncracies and its own level of detail.

In addition, the closer we get to test day, the less I feel like I need to force myself to focus. The oh-shit adrenaline just flows, from the moment I get up in the morning to the early evening when, if I’ve been properly focused, I’m too tired to put anything else in my head. I have no interest in doing anything but studying and I have to force myself to do other things. The internet seems less interesting, going out seems less interesting.

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